Adventures of Andrew Lee

This post describes the ambush at CMC and chronicles when I deceived and eventually ponded (tied to a PVC pipe like a hog and then thrown into water).

A Great Deception involving a motley group of characters happened today, readers. After completing my 55-page California Politics term paper on Water Marketing: A Case Study of the Transfer between the San Diego Water Authority and the Imperial Irrigation District, I was ready to enjoy my week. I feel like I accomplished something (I even bound it like a thesis )I had cleverly planned that my paper would take my whole birthday so that I could not be ambushed and if I was ambushed, I would be wearing my Nike Cross-Training running shoes.

I finally get back and my sister sends me an Instant Message that an ex-girlfriend from Delaware is randomly coming to the West Coast to tell me something urgent. My sister, as usual, exasperated at all things, said she did not want to deal with this.

I thought to myself that this was a sudden surprise, I had not seen her in a long time, and we hadn’t talked in over a year, but I should be an accommodating person, right? Peculiarly, every single time I was out of the room, I would receive a call from Calissa (the ex-girlfriend). Both Eric and Paul alluded to her coming to Ontario Airport, and that she would give me a call at 7:30 PM. Being the nice guy that I am, I actually checked Ontario Airport’s Flight Schedules and found one flight from Newark to Ontario that would arrive at 7:30 PM. So, I thought to myself, I should go pick her up. It would be rude to have her take a taxi.

At the same time, my sister was still saying things like, “Andrew, what did you do?!! She’s stalking you!!!” The only thing I knew to do was to receive this call at 7:30 PM or go and pick her up. When it was 7:30, I actually wanted to just go and meet her at the airport, but I didn’t want her to think that I wouldn’t be home.

I DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING: I STAYED HOME. (Silence. Feeling the tension?)

I was lied to! It was all a ruse for them to hog ties me to a very large Home Depot pipe and carry me. I struggled and was almost free through our bunny hole, but I was dragged back by the forces that be. Once the group of barbarians had me close to their water hole, they began to chant an ancient song that was to celebrate my soul’s turning of age. Once at the waterside, they dunk me three times into the water and kind of left me there for quite some time. After the third time, they left me by the wayside tied, while they went to enjoy the rest of the night’s festivities: consisting of Snicker’s Cake and Snicker’s Ice Cream. (Pics)

Dirty tricks. They used the Old-Girlfriend-Epiphany-Coming-To-See-You-Must- Do-Something card, the oldest trick in the book! I feel for it. Urgh. This elaborate ruse took them quite some time: For example, here is one of their correspondences.

—–Original Message—–
From: VanDeventer, Paul
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2004 10:58 AM
Subject: Ever wanted to POND ANDREW LEE?
Have you ever wanted to pond Andrew Lee?
Now is your chance!
I want to see every man, woman, and child help pond Andrew Lee tonight!
Meet on the 7th floor of Auen tonight (Friday) at 7:15 pm for an incredible ponding!
Feel free to bring people who didn’t receive this email. I certainly have forgotten to include people.
And, this is obvious, but it’s worth repeating for some of you: DO NOT MENTION THIS TO ANDREW. Also, don’t kill him in the ponding process.
If you have any questions, email my roommate, David Lu, at dlu07@mckenna.edu, or Liz Schultz, at eschultz07@mckenna.edu.
Sincerely,
Paul Van Deventer

Yes… now I have a pipe and rope in my living room as mementos of my night of savagery. Thanks for making my birthday one of the most exciting in years. No thanks to my crazy sister who helped hatch this plan.

Website Fixes/Updates: Nothing New, You might see some new links to movies, but Finals is coming up. Blech. That reminds me, I must somehow pack up all of this extraneous junk I have.

Other Adventures: I went to the LA Philharmonic with the Gould Center (yes, free) and saw Charles Dutoit conduct the LA Philharmonic with Gil Shaham, violin soloist. They played Berlioz: Roman Carnival Overture, Op. 9, Rachmaninoff: Symphonic Dances, Op. 45, and then the Brahms: Violin Concerto in D major, Op. 77. Mr. Shaham played the Brahms concerto with his 1699 “Countess Polignac” Stradivarius. Let me try to explain to readers, what this all means. First, I would suggest downloading or trying to find some samples of this music because it is amazing. Second, Mr. Shaham’s instrument played when Bach was young. That means that you own something that one of the greatest musicians of all time used. It’s kind of like having a quill pen that was used by Jefferson when he signed the Declaration of Independence.

In other news, the Rose has another great dinner and I sat by with two members of the board of governors (Marguerite and Darryl), and discussed US politics with Tony Quinn (author of the Open Primary initiative in CA), Dr. Michael Uhlmann (assistant Attorney General under Reagan) and Dr. Leroy Hardy (Redistricting expert for the Dems in CA back in the 80s). Great people to talk to about Gay Marriage, how nobody in the family ever like “Georgie” until he married someone that would shape him up. Always very educational.

Website links: Things encountered on the Adventure Trail.
John Kerry is a Douchebag but I’m Voting For Him Anyway
The Huh Corp, they do stuff
Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Pirated MP3s
Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of Death-Row Dubya
Tune in next time when I will be crying on the internet over the lack of clarity I have during finals.